This story is the first installment in the Rage Series. It is set before COTW and offers just one possible reason for the constraint between Ray and Ben when Ray returns. Perhaps also for his quick attachment to Stella, who would not represent any kind of threat to Ray's personal identity as a man.

The young clerk finished with his checkout paperwork and turned to Fraser. "Yes, Sir. May I help you?"

"Thank you kindly. I have an appointment with a Mr. Kevin Tremmings, Suite 300. Could you tell me if Mr. Tremmings is in right now?"

"One moment Sir." The young man checked is log and message nook for 300. "He is out at the moment but left a message for you to wait. In fact, his note says step into the bar and have a drink on him while you wait."

Benton smiled and nodded, "Thank you. Where is the bar area?"

With a quick nod the young man indicated a doorway to the right of the desk area. Benton Fraser, Constable of the RCMP walked with military precision through the door and found himself in a dark bar area slightly away from a huge window that looked out upon Lake Michigan.

The young hostess greeted him warmly and led him to a table near the windows. "You must be Constable Fraser." She said as he was seating himself. Mr. Tremmings was most insistent that we treat you like royalty. "What can I get you from the bar?"

Benton flushed rosily and asked for a simple Iced Tea with lemon and sugar.

The young girl smiled and walked away quickly where she personally went behind the bar and poured the drink. After she put the lemon in the drink, she pulled out the special packet of Hawaiian sugar Mr. Tremmings had asked be used for sweetening any drink of the Constable's.

Benton looked up and thanked the girl when she placed the drink on the table next to him. He noticed that she smiled at him, but didn't feel in the least uncomfortable. He picked up the drink and took a sip. The drink tasted delicious and refreshing after being out in the sun on guard duty all morning. Perhaps this was one time one of Thatcher's errands wouldn't be so exhausting he thought. "Thank you kindly, this is quite refreshing." He talked to the girl quietly and smiled.

The girl went back to her other customers and watched the Mountie finish his drink. She brought him two replacement drinks while he waited. Finally a young bellhop entered the bar and approached the girl. She pointed the Mountie out to him. The young man approached the Mountie quickly and told him that Mr. Tremmings had returned and was ready to see him up in his suite.

The boy accompanied Benton to the elevator and waited for a tip. He noticed with displeasure that the Mountie didn't seem to be noticing him. The boy walked off with a shrug of his shoulders as the elevator door opened and enveloped the Mountie. The good looking ones never seemed to notice him the boy thought.

The elevator deposited Benton on the third floor and he made his way down the hall to suite 300. He knocked politely on the door and waited. He held his hat under his arm and ran his finger around his collar, which seemed to be getting warmer and warmer over the last half an hour. The door opened and he was greeted by a man a bit larger than himself but quite as good looking in a rather weight lifters way.

"How do you do, I am Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police." Benton began. "Inspector Thatcher said you would have a package for me to pick up." He stepped into the suite as the man stepped back with a smile.

"It's right there on the bed." The man closed the door behind Benton. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long, but an office emergency cropped up and I was needed there."

"That's quite all right." Benton felt his head becoming heavy and he suddenly felt uncoordinated. He reached down to pick up the package on the bed and swayed just a tiny bit. Mr. Tremmings grabbed at his arm and made him sit on the bed.

"Are you OK?" the man said in voice sounding very far away. He looked down at his watch and smiled.

"Yes, I just felt momentarily dizzy. I've never felt quite like that before. But I believe I'm feeling better now." He began to rise and realized his legs and body seemed to be at odds with the commands from his mind. His Stetson dropped to the floor to lie upside down by his feet. All he could do was stare at it.

Tremmings walked over to the door and quickly turned the lock sealing himself inside the room with Benton. He stood in front of the obviously drugged Constable and lifted Benton's head by means of holding his short hair and tilting his head. "Yep, and it took 3 packets. Boss will like that."

Then Tremmings began to quickly undo the accoutrements of the Constable's uniform starting with his Sam Brown. In minutes he had the Constable's red serge hanging on a hanger over his white Henley. He pushed the unresisting Constable back so that he lay on the bed and began undoing the Jodhpur fastenings and zipper. He relentlessly worked on the bootlaces until he could pull them off easily. He slid the Jodhpur's off the acquiescing man and finally removed his socks to leave Benton Fraser of the RCMP lying on the bed in his very starched, white boxers. Tremmings took great care in arranging the Constable's uniform on the hanger and laying it on the bed, the Stetson on the pillow. He went to the closet and retrieved a small suitcase and a clothing bag. He began the task of re-clothing Benton Fraser. First he took out a small white vial and removed a pill, which he forced between the slack lips and placed it under the woozy man's tongue.

He removed a few articles from the small suitcase and waited a minute. When he noticed the Constable's eyes begin to flutter, Tremmings smiled and pulled the man on the bed up into a sitting position. "For a while you aren't going to feel very well, Constable and you will do everything I tell you to do, it's only temporary and won't leave any lasting effects I assure you. We don't have a lot of time left, so let's get started shall we."

Benton knew he was sitting on the bed naked but for his boxers. He could feel the color rising in his cheeks and knew that he was helpless. He tried moving his hands and feet but they seemed disembodied from him and out of his control. He shivered.

Tremmings handed him a ladies long waisted bra and told him to put it on quickly. Benton just looked at it. "Sorry Ray," he mumbled, "I was just trying to help." The bra slipped from his fingers. Tremmings gave him an odd look and retrieved the bra.

"Put it on."

This time Benton made a fumbling attempt to get the garment on, but his hands didn't quite seem able to perform the task. Tremmings forcibly pushed the straps over Benton's arms and formed the bra against the Constable's body. He pushed the unresisting man back onto the bed and rolled him over on to his stomach then climbed up on the bed and began hooking the bra's closure. When he was done, he rearranged Benton and sat him up on the bed again. Next he placed a lovely black slip over Benton's head and pulled it down over him and followed that by getting out a pair of pantyhose and beginning to work them up the Constable's legs. In short order he was laying the man down again and trying to adjust the pair of pantyhose up over the Constable's considerably anatomy. He pulled and tugged and managed to get them on so they wouldn't fall down.

Tremmings stood back and laughed at the form in front of him. Boss was sure going to extremes on this. But hey, he was getting paid pretty well for this one. He went to the garment bag and removed a maroon dress that fell in soft folds from the hanger. Dropping it over the Constable's head he tugged and urged the man to put his arms into it properly. He found the matching, low-heeled shoes sitting in the bottom of the bag and placed them on the Constables wide feet. The dark maroon color made the Constable seem smaller as he sat on the bed, almost like two people - dressed as a woman on the bottom with a man's head.

Benton had been unresisting through most of the tortuous maneuvers done by Tremmings to dress him. He felt silly sitting there. He felt even worse when the man began applying make up to his face followed by a dark wig that was the same color as his own hair. Tremmings stepped back and gawked. Transformed before him was the man into a woman and a somewhat good looking one at that. Putting all the material evidence back in the bags, he placed his bag and the smaller one outside the door. He removed a lightweight coat in dark maroon and helped the Constable into it. It was then he noticed a lack of lipstick on the Constable's mouth. He reached into his pocket and stepped over to stand directly in front of the Constable. Placing his hands on the beautiful, quivering chin he ran the lipstick lightly over the trembling lips.

"Hey, it's not so bad. I'm not out to hurt you. It's a revenge thing. Boss has it in his mind to get some retribution, but he don't want anyone seeing you leave this place." He paused, "I thought he was nuts when he suggested this routine. But he was right, again."

Benton felt the world reeling around him and felt slightly sick. He knew he couldn't fight this off, as he had been unable to move while he was redressed. He'd just have to stick it out and see what this was all about. He didn't flinch when the man pulled him somewhat unsteadily to his feet. He was forced to put one foot in front of the other as they went to the door. He felt Tremmings lean him against the wall in the hall while he picked up their suitcases before pulling Benton into the shelter of his right arm. There was nothing he could do but walk, putting one shaky foot in front of the other as they headed for the elevator.

When they exited the elevator they turned away from the reservation desk and walked towards the side door of the hotel. Several people saw the couple and felt sympathetic for the obviously ill woman walking within the circle of the man's arm. At least one or two of the men wondered if they were married.

Tremmings settled Benton into the passenger seat of the car and pulled out his cell phone. First he called the hotel and informed them that he had left in a hurry and would not be returning. He authorized them to put his billing through on his charge card. Next he called the Consulate and talked to Thatcher for a moment about the packet Benton was supposedly bringing to the Consulate.

With a snap Trimmings closed the cell phone and put the car into gear. "That should hold off any tail for a couple hours. We'll be gone by then."

Benton let his aching head fall back against the car's headrest, he was too exhausted to speak. Before they had gone one block his eyes were closed.

The next time Benton woke up, he was sitting in first class passenger seat on a plane. He was buckled in and still dressed like a woman. He felt a hand along his jaw line as someone was pulling his mouth open. As he opened his eyes he could make out the form of a stewardess and heard Tremmings talking. "Poor dear doesn't fly well. She took her medication before we left. The doctor warned her it might wear off." He said softly as he slipped a pill in under Benton's tongue. The girl handed a glass of water to Tremmings who put it to Ben's lips. "Can't get dehydrated dear. Take a small sip."

Ben was horrified to find his body obeying against his will. He tried to clamp his mouth shut, but only succeeded in getting a mouth full of water. He swallowed so he could breathe. A blanket was placed over his lap and the stewardess walked away.

"Remember to relax, you'll feel better." Tremmings said as he settled more comfortably in his seat. "We land in an hour."

Sitting in his seat unable to move gave Ben plenty of time to think. He was pretty sure he'd been given a date rape type of drug, but he was unsure which one. He couldn't place Tremmings and had no idea where he was being taken. Shivering he noted he couldn't control his fingers or his toes and everything felt like it was happening a million miles away from him. He found himself drifting off to sleep again. That must be what was in those pills that Tremmings put under his tongue, sedatives of some kind. He'd have to fight it off next time.

The plane landed on time and Tremmings had no problem removing the Constable, his poor sick wife, from the plane. Fraser walked meekly at his side letting Tremmings support him as they walked. Tremmings was looking forward to his bonus for pulling this off. He felt sorry for the Constable but from what he had heard the man would be safe. He was just going to be put on hold for a while.

Benton felt a blast of heat hit his face as they exited the airport. Even in his drugged state he could feel the intensity of the sun. Sunglasses had been put on his face and he noticed that they were so dark that he couldn't see out of them at all, it was like he was blind. They entered a vehicle with a very cool interior and drove away. About five minutes from the airport, the car stopped and Tremmings got out. He put a hand on Benton's arm and said, "It'll be OK. I promise." Ben heard the door shut and he was alone except for a new companion that had slid into the seat where Tremmings had been sitting. As the car pulled away, Ben felt something cold going around his right wrist. He knew what it was when he heard the click. Handcuffs, he was handcuffed to someone and he still couldn't fight back.

An hour later Benton woke as the car came to a halt. He was lifted out of the car like a prize package. One of the men even said, "Excuse me Mam when he had accidentally stepped on Benton's toes. The sunglasses were left on his face and he was gently guided into a cool house. He was taken down a very long hallway and into an elevator which went down not up. He counted the doors they passed until finally they entered a heavily carpeted room. Someone unlocked the handcuff and lead him to a chair. A strap was put across his shoulders and across his legs pinioning him to the chair. He heard the light click off and knew they were in total darkness. The sunglasses were lifted off his face and he could see nothing. Someone behind him held his head steady and a bright, blinding light flashed directly in his eyes. "Easy Mam. This won't hurt." He heard as a hand reached out to his right eye and held it open. First drops were put into his eyes and then a huge scleric lens was put in place. His right eye was effectively blinded. He was held steady while the same technique was applied to his left eye. The straps holding him still were released.

His head was let go and he heard the light click on, he couldn't see a thing. "Don't try to remove those lenses." He heard the whisper from behind him. They are large and cover the entire front portion of your eye. Burn patients used to wear them for months at a time so you shouldn't feel any discomfort." The voice moved closer, the less you see around here the better for you.

Ben nodded afraid to let his voice be heard. He was beginning to be afraid. Movement was taking place near the door of the room. He heard several people leave and two men come inside. He listened.

"You said you had a surprise for me, here in the basement." The voice sounded half laughing and yet authoritative.

"Yea, someone found out one of your weaknesses. They want to be sure you stay loyal."

Ben froze as he listened to the voices. He knew the first one as well as he knew his own. He was mortified and helpless.

Ben heard the two men stepping around some kind of divider. He heard the slight gasp from one man. "A beauty, your tastes may be statuesque but can't fault you the beauty."

Keeping his eyes down, Ben turned towards the voices just slightly. It was hard, his body was still responding to the drugs. He hoped he was wrong. He wanted desperately to be wrong for once. But he wasn't, he knew it. He smelled his friend first, the same strong scent he always used. It made his heart lurch in his chest to know he couldn't respond, couldn't say a word lest his masculine voice betray them.

The man held tears back in his throat as he looked at his friend dressed in a lovely maroon dress. He knew the face; he knew the shape of the body. He recognized all too clearly the line of the jaw even in makeup with long flowing hair falling around it. He knelt in front of the 'woman' in the chair. He noted the unseeing glaze of the eyes. He rose with clenched hands. "What the hell goes on here? Why can't she see?"

"Sorry, Boss said if we had any hope of returning the lady, she had to be unable to identify any of us. She's got lenses in her eyes. Won't hurt her. She's too pretty for that."

"Well, now she's here. I can take her to my place."

"Boss said no. Said to tell you he would be here in a moment or two. He thought you might like a moment to kiss the lady without prying eyes." The man went to the door and stood with his back to Ben and his friend.

With a husky whisper the man dropped to his knees in front of Ben. He put his arms around him and whispered, "It's OK Benny. I'll get you out of here somehow." He felt Benny's body shake under his arms. "Its OK." He soothed. They heard the door open and the other man step out while a much large man stepped inside.

"Ain't you going to kiss the lady, Army...She's had a long trip getting here and is probably glad to see you."

A whispered, "Sorry Benny." Proceeded a deep lip only kiss.

"Army, come here."

The man using Army's name rose reluctantly and crossed the room leaving Benny blushing and trying to hold still.

"The guys here all think your friend is a beautiful woman. I made it my business to facilitate the facade. But I know who he is and I know who you are. He's my insurance that you're going to play your little game out. I want this area broken up into little pieces. Too much action is in too few hands. I want my portion. You're going to help me achieve that. His life is at stake and so is yours." He watched 'Army' seethe. "Your friend's a beauty in drag or out. You sampled those charms?"

'Army' let his eyes convey his contempt for the question. "What do you think? I don't do men. You know that."

"I like your friend. He's got class. I'd hate to think one of my boys discovered his secret first you know. Some of the boys would love that kind of tail. I might like some myself in fact."

"What's the ticket for the insurance? How much so he doesn't get hurt?"

"Simple. You show me I can trust you by doing something I order you to do? You know the drill. Think of him as one of the girl's the guys bring in." He laughed, "Only I get to watch."

"No way!"

"Then I call in Tomas. He's the hardest to control. If he leaves your friend alive, you get him back and you still do what I say before I return him."

"You aren't leaving me much choice here are you? How do I know I can trust you?"

"That's the point. You do what I say, how I say and everybody leaves here happy."

"He's not that kind, this'll kill him."

"Anyone looks that lovely in a skirt, takes a risk. I heard this ain't the first time he's worn one."

Ben heard paper flipping out of a pocket and heard 'Army' gasp. "Where did you get that?" No answer, silence filled the room.

Ben didn't quite understand all the conversation, his head was still buzzing from the medicine that had been administered to him all day. He did understand when he felt the stranger's hand on his wrist and felt the man leaning towards his face. He leaned back a bit trying to avoid the contact. He was slapped in the face for his efforts. 'Army' reached out and grabbed the man's hand as it prepared to descend again.

"You win. I'll do it. But that buys you nothing but voyeur privileges and buys me his life. You agree."

"Agreed." The man moved a little away from Ben. "But you do anything too slowly and he'll find out what rough is, OK?"

The big man moved towards the door. I won't stay in the room; I have my own surveillance camera play what goes on in here only in my room. But there will be a guard at the door. The kind that will finish what you start. Understand." He dimmed the light on the way out the door so that the only lighted area in the large opulent room was a large bed.

'Army' stood transfixed looking at that bed. He knew they were in way too deep to get out easily. He also knew no one knew where either of them were. He was savvy enough to know that where they were no one would ever find them. The choice wasn't his. Their lives rested in how he could pull this off without disgusting Benny.

Ben heard the door close and rose unsteadily from the chair. He put his hand out and called as softly as he could, "Ray. Where are you?"

Ray Vecchio walked over to his best friend and put a steadying arm around him. "Right here Benny. Right here." He looked as his friends pale face in the woman's make up and wig. God, Benny was always a looker. He knew the creep Mancioni meant just what he said. "Did you hear everything Benny?" he watched the face in front of him closely.

"Some of it. I don't understand Ray. What does this man want?"

"He wants me to help him break up the Vegas group. He wants more. You're supposed to be his insurance that I do what he wants."

"Well you're here to break the group up anyway, aren't you?" Ben said quietly turning his head towards Ray.

"Yea, that's right. But he demands an oath of fealty, one without words." Ray felt sick to his stomach.

"I don't understand Ray." Ben said nervously.

"He's going to tape me doing something that will cause you and me trouble if it's ever found out."

Ben tilted his head like a puppy dog and listened.

"He wants me to...he want's me to let him watch me and you, Benny."

"That's not difficult Ray."

"Oh yes it is my friend. He wants to see me do this and more." Ray tilted his head and kissed Benny on the cheek hoping that would get through the dense Canadian's head.

Ben gasped and pulled back from Ray. He stomach knotting in quick tight knots. Ray wrapped his arm around Ben and pulled him back towards his chest. "Ben. I don't want to do any of this." His voice choked as his throat tightened. "But he'll let someone else in here. Someone who wouldn't care about what happened to you. Ya know."

"That might be better." Ben whispered head tilted down. "I don't understand Ray. Why would this guy think I'm insurance?"

"Cause you are and he knows it. We're friends, almost as close as brothers. He's going to use it against me."

"I don't feel so good Ray." Ben felt dizzy again.

"They been feeding you some drugs?" Ray questioned.

"Yes Ray. I don't know which one, but I think it's one of those date rape drugs combined with something else."

"Damn. Mancioni had this planned from the start." Ray knew Benny wasn't in any shape to fight anyone off. But he also knew Ben would try. The lights in the room flickered then remained on, Ray got the point.

"Come on Benny. I have to do this. You have to let me." He started walking a wobbly Ben over to the large bed. Ben tried hanging back, but his shaky legs wouldn't cooperate.

"Ray, I don't think I can." Ben said quietly. "I've never, I've never..."

"Don't you think I know that." Ray said a little forcefully. He pulled Ben a little closer as they neared the bed. "I know. I'll be as careful as I can. But you got to do this. You got to. He'll kill us both if I don't do this. And someone a lot rougher than me will do what he wants. Ray watched the emotions fly over Ben's face. He wanted to pull him in closer, but didn't dare right now.

Ben felt like collapsing, this was entirely too much to handle. He wanted to see, he wanted to run. But he realized the words Ray spoke were the truth. There was no way out. He nodded slowly, a tear escaping his right eye.

Ray pulled Ben to him and whispered desperately. "I'll take it as slow as I can. But this guy isn't going to be satisfied unless he knows it's the full deal. You understand, the full deal."

Ben's chest constricted and his throat tightened, he was in the dark, so in the dark, yet he knew the area around the bed was well lit. He knew it.

Gently sitting Ben down on the bed, Ray pulled off the wig and placed it on the table next the bed. Ben's hair was a mess and stuck up all over the place. The sight endeared him to Ray. His friend looked like a waif wearing makeup. Like a small child lost in a world that it didn't understand.

With gentle hands he started to unbutton the top opening of Ben's dress. Ben pulled back reflexively and flinched. Ray reached out and put his hand on Ben's shoulder and squeezed. "I promise. I'll try not to hurt you. Please Ben relax. Please."

Ben sat still and endured the embarrassing removal of the feminine dress then the slip. When he sat on the edge of the bed in the bra and pantyhose, he drooped his shoulders and let out a sigh. Ray undid the bra first and slowly removed it. Then he pushed Ben back into the bed before realizing that it was a waterbed. He crawled onto the bed next to Ben. Ray's body was sweating and his hands trembled. This wasn't right. This wasn't right.

Ben could feel some feeling coming back into his arms and hands. He rolled to his side to face away from Ray. He felt the bed move as Ray moved his expensive Armani jacket and slacks. Ben could feel the bed move and roll with each movement Ray made. He cringed and tried to move away from Ray's hands that were slowly turning him onto his back. "No, Ray. I can't."

"I'm sorry Benny. I have to do this. You have to let me." Ray leaned over Ben and felt his friend's body shaking. "Let me kiss you Caro. Kissing won't hurt." He griped Ben's shoulders and held him down, as he ran his eyes over Ben's blind and terrified expression. Ray lowered his mouth to Ben's left ear. "You gotta go with this, he's watching. He's watching every move."

Ben turned his head to the side and tried to relax. "I'll try. I'll try." He managed to whisper. His body was turning cold and he needed warmth.

Ray kissed Ben's ear and mumbled, "OK. I'll go slow just like I promised." He moved a hand to lie along side Ben's face and held on tightly as he kissed an eyebrow and moved on down to Ben's eyes. He kissed Ben slowly and softly and tried to disregard the erratic breathing Ben was trying to control. Ray closed his eyes, feeling it might be better if he didn't see too much at the moment either.

"Lie still, let me do all the work." Ray said softly before taking his friends lips and kissing them.

Ben tried to move away, tried to hold his lips shut and relax. He realized he was sending too many signals to his drugged body, which wasn't going to respond. He felt Ray kissing him, beginning to take his lips into his mouth. It was an unusually scary feeling for Ben. His mind roared for release.

Ray moved his body to lie over Ben's as the two fought for supremacy. Ray began to run his fingers over Ben's body knowing that was what Mancioni wanted to see. He twisted the fingers of his left hand into Ben's hair to hold him still before plunging his tongue into Ben's mouth in violation of the trust he had promised Ben to take things slowly. He could feel Ben bucking slightly beneath him and refused to stop. Visions of dead men Mancioni had ordered taken care of raced through his mind as he sucked and pulled on Ben's mouth.

Ray moved away from concentrating on Ben's mouth and began kissing his neck. Whenever he felt Ben cringe away from him, he whispered words of assurance.

Nervously Ray began working towards Ben's chest and the waiting nipples there that Ray knew by experience would probably be very tender. He could feel every shake and shiver of Ben's body as he moved lower but kept his hands on Ben's shoulders and his weight over his body, making it impossible for Ben to move away.

Ben let his breathing move in and out rhythmically. He tried to force his thoughts away from what was happening. He heard each of Ray's coaxing words as he kissed and teased Ben's skin almost mercifully. He tried rolling away several times only to have Ray calm him again with whispered words.

"Benny, you just relax. Think of something else if you can. But I gotta do this. This guy is a killer Benny and he don't do nice well. So relax Caro." Ray climbed back up Ben quickly and captured his mouth again. "I haven't ever done this either, so if I do something wrong, blame it on inexperience. Ok."

Ray moved quickly over the beautiful white torso of his friend and felt himself beginning to become involved in the situation instead of standing off and watching himself rape his best friend. Worst of all was the fact that Ray couldn't see Benny's beautiful eyes. Course just maybe that was a good thing he thought.

He turned around on top of Ben so that he was face down towards Ben's crotch. He knew this would keep the bulk of his weight on Ben and prevent him from moving away. He also gauged it might provide enjoyment for their voyeur.

Licking and sucking along Ben's stomach he kept caressing Ben's sides with his hands. He could feel Ben starting to sweat in nervousness but he didn't let up. He turned again and again began attacking Ben's mouth giving his friend little time to think.

Ben tried to pull back. "Ray, please. I'm not sure I can do this without being sick."

"It's OK Caro. It's OK. My hands are running over your body, the light is on and the jerk is watching. Just remember to keep breathing OK. Remember."

Ray began a slow grinding motion of his lower body over Ben's. He heard the sharp hissing intake of Ben's breath as he let their bodies rub together. He kissed Ben's ears, his eyes, his hair talking to him with each movement, calculating and hoping that Ben would forgive him later. He reached almost shyly under Ben and pulled Ben closer to him. He put his hands under Ben's boxers and began to slowly remove them.

Ben bucked and tried pulling away. He bit his tongue to keep from using words of refusal. It had finally sunk into his head that Ray was trying to save both their lives.

Ray soothed and coaxed. "Easy Ben, we haven't hit the quarter mile marker yet. Your skin is beautiful. You know that. Really beautiful. So soft. You smell good too. Course I'm not saying you smell like a girl, just that you smell good."

Keeping his hands tightly on Ben's shoulders, Ray moved harder and harder against. His own body was beginning to need more, want more. "Caro, I need to touch you places, you know. Please don't fight me. Please. Relax." He moved in with his mouth and used his tongue roughly against Ben's lips. "Please Caro, let me in. Your mouth is lovely Caro. So warm."

Ben knew his body was reacting in unexpected ways. His hips were moving voluntarily against Ray. He could feel sexual arousal beginning to take over his frame. He felt lost and alone. No not alone, just lost. Ray was here. Ray was truly not hurting him. He would concentrate on that.

Ray began to feel a change in Ben's body as he kept moving and grasping and kissing. He let his hands roam Ben's back in an effort to warm the clammy skin he could feel underneath him. He worried, hoping Ben finally understood his need. He continued to whisper to Ben, "Benny, Caro. Relax, I can feel you relaxing. Relax soon Benny; soon I have to do more. This guy won't be satisfied with a simple kissing and petting session."

Ben tried to smile at Ray; he hoped Ray could see him even though sight was held away from him. He found himself catching his breath as Ray kissed him in odd places. When Ray began kissing and nipping at his nipples Ben felt his body beginning to respond even more to Ray. He gasped out loud and tried to arch up into Ray's mouth.

"Oh God, Benny. What am I doing to you? Forgive me Benny." He whispered and began to roll Ben on to his stomach.

Ben felt panicked and tried to resist even tho he knew that had no choice. He pushed back and tried to hit at Ray. Ray grabbed the hand that swung at him in a drugged swing and kissed each finger. "It's now Benny. Gotta be now Caro."

Ray completed turning Ben over and kissed his neck and shoulders. "I would fake this if I could. But this guy will demand evidence. You understand. And this will hurt, Benny. I'll go as slow as I can, but it will hurt."

Ben forced his head into the pillows and tried to nod his head and relax. He tried lying on the bed limply. Ray smiled, as he knew Ben was trying to help him. He began to leisurely wander down Ben's back kissing and licking his way down the muscled torso.

The light went out and flicked on and off twice. Ray knew what the meant, Mancioni didn't want to wait any longer. Ray was afraid the man would come in and do it himself. He grasped Ben by the shoulder and held him down. "Forgive me, Benny." He whispered as he began moving quickly back and forth across Ben's rear. Ben reacted violently as Ray thought he would. He held him still and whispered words of encouragement.

"Relax and breathe. It'll be over soon. Relax and breathe." Ray found himself listening to his own advice. He moved his hands lower and lower down Ben's wiggling back until his hands were kneading Ben's skin near his anus. Ray positioned himself and with a solid thrust tried to enter Ben quickly. Tight muscles hindered the first thrust. Ray knew he didn't have time to help Ben relax more as the light overhead began flickering again. He pulled back and thrust as hard as he could breaking into Ben with a violent entry. Ray felt the body of his friend go rigid before collapsing against the bed.

Ray knew he had no choice but to continue which he did with tears streaming down his face. Ben would never forgive him and he could never go home. The anger of the futility of fighting against Mancioni at this point spurred Ray on until he was thrusting harder and harder into Ben's unreacting body. When Ray finished, he found Ben's hands clasping the covers so tightly that his knuckles shown gray through his pale white skin. Ray leaned over and hugged Ben to him, pulling the still body to his. Carefully he turned Ben over and held him crying. He ran his hand through Ben's hair and kissed the tears on Ben's face away. He kissed Ben's lips and murmured words of love and apology.

Ben felt used and spent. His body ached and his mind reeled. But he knew Ray had not been responsible. He was grateful that Ray had had the nerve to do this himself, because he knew he wouldn't have survived rape at anyone else's hands. He knew it was a form of rape, but he always knew Ray was deeply caring for him. When Ray began kissing and holding him in apology, Ben felt warm and safe. Odd he thought, to feel warm and safe now.

The light over them went out and Ray covered them with the bed's comforter. They fell asleep in each other's arms.

Morning came too soon. Ben was too sore to move freely and was rather glad he couldn't see Ray's face. He could hear pain in Ray's voice. He could hear anger and fear. He was rather glad Ray couldn't see his eyes either.